It is my desire to help others find their way out of emotional suffering so that they may be able to lead joyous and loving lives despite all the traumas, lack of skills and feeling alone in life.
I don’t have any of the answers except the ones that I found for myself but I hope that my journey will help you find some relief from emotional suffering.
This book is not about blame for anything. It is about choices personal to each individual and change for the better. This book is about helping to make people aware that there are choices available that can help us change our lives so that we can be healthier spiritually, emotionally and physically. I hope that these choices will help us change our own lives as well as those of our children and future generations so that they do not experience the same suffering that many of us have had in our lives.
I absolutely believe that God can heal us gently with His love if we are open in our hearts. For me, because of so much fear, distrust and many other reasons, I had to find that connection in a much longer and roundabout way. I feel that the most important aspect of healing has been left out of our lives and that is God our Father and His love for us, in whatever manner of spirituality that you believe. We have so much science, which is beneficial, but science does not take the place of Father’s love for His children or the power of His love in the healing process. I never believed that God made me to need medication for the rest of my life and I believe that His love is healing.
I have been working on removing the emotional pain and suffering in my life for years. Recently, I was able to free up my heart from the intense fear and pain inside of me. As a result I was able to feel my heart again, the love in my heart and connect with Father in a whole new way. I now firmly believe that my connection with Him and the love that He has for me is the most powerful force for healing in my life. I always thought that He could help me to be whole again and that has become true for me. I share this with you so that you will know it is possible to find this connection with Father.
I wonder how much different our lives or the lives of our children would be if they learned these things earlier in life or if all of this is part of the way skills are in this world and reflect a general progression of humanity. It feels to me that we have gotten so caught up in technology, materialism and the speed of life that part of us has gotten lost somewhere along the way. For many years I felt like something was missing but I couldn’t figure out what it was or even how to begin to find it. In actuality, the depression was very beneficial and maybe the best thing that happened to me in my life.. Since I paid attention to it and kept trying to resolve it, I was shown the causes of the depression and how to resolve them in my life. I found not only the me that got lost in all the chaos and this culture but something far more grand as well – more love and life than I ever thought possible. I found what I had been looking for my whole life.
I don’t know any of the answers for others but it seems that we could accomplish so much more and that all of our lives would be so much more peaceful and free if we didn’t have to work so hard to get rid of all the illusions and emotional baggage. This project is an attempt to help others find their own way back to themselves and to their hearts.
Most of this learning process has been extremely fun and rewarding. I like being able to feel again. I don’t ever want to shut myself down again, in any way in any part of my life. Even the difficult times are bearable with finding my heart again. It actually feels really good to feel again even if part of that is the pain of life. I get to feel everything now and as a result I now feel more joy in my life as well. I experienced pain in working through my stuff but I learned so much from my feelings at the same time as to create joy in my life because I felt that I was living at last. I had shut down so much that I couldn’t feel anything but pain at the very worst moments of my life. Now pain is okay even, because it doesn’t dominate my life. It is part of life but so are joy, fun, laughter, the simple things in life, God, darkness, sorrow and everything else. I’m living and laughing again and I would wish the same for you.
For all these reasons and many more is why I want to give you this web site and other information. May you find all the love and joy you were ever looking for in life.
I will have more posted soon. Please check back.
FOR THE VERY DESPERATE OR SUICIDAL PERSON
· Know that you are not alone. Help is available if you ask. God is always with you. Always.
· Seek immediate medical attention and emotional support, preferably from a mental health facility or a hospital specializing in mental disorders. The people working at a mental health facility are trained in mental health disorders and are better equipped to handle your suffering than a regular hospital. Get yourself anywhere that you can be stabilized and supported.
· If you can’t get to a hospital or mental health facility right away, call someone or a suicide hotline. Sometimes just talking to someone will get you through the rough spot so that you can get help afterwards. Talk to God if you feel alone or afraid. He is always there for you.
· Get yourself stabilized and out of danger first.
· Do not give up. There are ways to reduce or get out of emotional pain.
· Once you are stabilized take a look at the enclosed materials. There is a suggested program, my story and the program that I put together for myself as examples. There are also many resources available, in varying amounts by location, where you can find information, help and support. Many resources can be found and researched from a computer at home, at school, a library or other facility at little to no cost to yourself.
· Know that there is hope. My heart feels better. I can breathe again.
· Know that you can stop or ease the suffering and painby learning new skills and healthier ways of thinking, believing, communicating and behaving. What we grew up with might be normal to us but it doesn’t mean that it was the healthiest environment to grow up in or that it promotes healthy relationships. There are better ways if what you are doing is not working.
· Know that I survived and I made it out of severe emotional pain, panic attacks, depression, drug and alcohol addiction, suicidal thoughts and post-traumatic stress disorder.
· You can survive and life can get better and happier.
IF YOU ARE SUICIDAL READ THIS FIRST.
NATIONAL HOTLINE 1-800-273-8255 (talk)
American Association of Suicidology
List of world-wide suicide and crisis hotlines.
TEXTING INSTEAD OF CALLING. “By simply texting the word ‘NAMI’ to 741741 … anyone can directly connect with a crisis counselor trained to offer help and put them at ease.”
“Suicide is not chosen;
it happens when pain exceeds resources
for coping with pain.”
I understand the thoughts of the suicidal person because I have been there more than one time. I think that people at the point of suicide feel that they have no other choice of action that will end the pain and they neither see nor know of any other choices at that time. I think that the pain is so great that they are unable for one reason or another to choose a different way or reach out to anyone.
I have seen both sides of suicide. I have experienced severe emotional pain and suicidal thoughts and I have also had two family members who died by suicide. Your family and friends do love you. Mostly, they don’t know how to tell you or to really share that love on a deeper level or even just talk to you about what you are feeling. You are not alone even if you are feeling alone and isolated. There are many who will help if you reach out. Try not to let your fears or your pain get in the way of saving your life because just a little bit of hope and support can go a very long way.
Call a suicide hotline if talking to someone will help you get through the night. Talk to anyone who you can turn to for emotional support. Call for God if there is nobody you can talk to at the moment. Call a mental health facility, a counselor or hospital specializing in mental health disorders. Reach out to a friend, a pastor, a priest, a school counselor, a coach, a social worker or anyone that can assist you in getting the help you need.
I definitely agree with the statement that the pain exceeds the person’s resources for coping with the pain. The pain finally wears you out until you are overwhelmed and can no longer handle the pain or see any other way for it to end. Suicide then becomes a relief and a way to end to the emotional pain. Unfortunately, and tragically for many souls, life ends because they can see no other way to make the unending emotional pain stop. There are ways to make the pain stop or get better.
This is a critical point where reaching out for help and learning about new choices, resources and life skills becomes very important. New skills can make all the difference in your life by helping to ease emotional pain and suffering. There is a chance for change and life can get better. Yes, it will take some effort but things can change for the better. There is hope. Please do not give up.
The one thing I can say to you about my journey and what kept me going was my feeling that the depression was Hell for me and that no matter how hard the recovery was at times, it was NEVER as difficult or as painful as being in that place of excruciating emotional pain and the abyss of depression. NEVER. The emotional pain (Hell) was endless fear, pain, isolation, feeling alone, feeling unworthy, feeling unloved and like I didn’t matter to anyone for many years. Not that these feelings were true but that is how I felt at the time. I wanted all of the pain to stop so very much. I will ever keep moving forward rather than go back to that kind of Hell. The worse thing ever was the feeling of being FLAT or not being able to feel anything at all. That was scary.
I was rewarded for all of my efforts that I made to get better for I now feel joy and love in my heart again where I could once feel only intense pain, rejection, rage, sadness, loneliness, a crushing darkness, rolling waves of grief, fear and a loss of connection with my heart and my soul, my life and God.
I feel young in heart again, something I have not felt for a very long time. I feel alive, loved, happy and whole. I feel stronger in my heart and in my life. It was worth every bit of the effort, every bit of the difficulty, every bit of the learning and every bit of the effort in finding love and life again. I think perhaps that many don’t understand suffering and I don’t understand all the reasons for it but please know that it was my illness and my suffering that helped bring me back to my life. Without the depression, sadness and pain I never would have gone looking for ways to make it stop and I never would have found my life and love again.
Hurting was, in a strange way, one of the best things that ever happened to me because it helped me find my life again. Illness and suffering brought about changes in my priorities in life and helped me figure out what was really important, who was important and helped me to actually begin to live again, when I was really only surviving before and in pain. Suffering got me out of my mind and back into my heart which had become a very uncomfortable and unhappy place to be for me. Suffering brought me back to my own spirit and the Great Spirit that gave me life again and which gives us life. Now I feel that I am living again. I can take a deep breath and inhale life. I have a connection with something bigger and this truly feels wonderful.
Don’t give up. Your life can get better. You are loved so very much. For me, it was all a matter of deciding that I was ready to connect with that greater love again. I’m glad I did. My life is not perfect but it is so much better than it ever was and I would not go back and do anything differently if it would change where I am now. I feel like what I thought “normal” might feel like but whatever does that mean? I feel like me again but in a bigger and much more whole way. I also feel connected to something bigger than myself which feels pretty amazing all by itself. Things I never thought could be healed have been healed and I feel like I have broken the chains of fear and broken through the surface of the stormy seas of illusion that were surrounding me and holding me prisoner in this world. What a relief. Wow, love changes everything, and for me, that love came from our Creator. That is what helped me to feel whole and safe and loved and free.
 https://www.nami.org/Blogs/NAMI-Blog/September-2016/How-Texting-Can-Help-Save-a-Life#:~:text=Along%20with%20NAMI%20741741%20crisis%20texting%2C%20the%20National,providing%20quick%20assistance%20to%20a%20person%20in%20crisis., NAMI, National Alliance of Mental Illness: