FOUNDATION PART I

I started this effort to save my life many, many years ago, While I decided to use an approach that I felt would address the whole of me - the mind, the body and the spirit, the whole basis for what I did was based upon my belief that God did not make me with some defect within me that would require me to take medication for the rest of my life. I felt that He did just fine making all of us and that my symptoms were my warning system telling me that something was not working in my life. ... Out of all of the research and studying has come both web sites dedicated to helping others remove depression, anxiety, fear and other unwanted or limiting symptoms and be healthy and well also, living in a space of love with Our Father, Jesus and others. 

Although the PTSD was a different animal all by itself, the depression was a way of my spirit trying to tell me that it had been compromised, stuffed down and it was unable to express itself wholly in this world. A huge part of my effort has been in the area of spirituality and an effort to communicate not only with my own spirit but with God. I cannot leave Him out of my life because He has been such a huge part of my recovery. I figured that if He was love then I could learn to feel that love just as much as any fear or pain that was in my life. While I recognize that a lot of what I have to say is different and unusual, try to keep an open mind. If we are more than just our physical bodies, might there be more to us and our spirits as well?

I have done thousands of hours of energy work with my own body and probably at least 8,000 to 10,000 hours over a ten year period as of 2014. Now it is part of my day and requires virtually no effort. Energy work is neutral by itself in my opinion but it is not a new practice. While I do not expect anyone else to spend the same amount of time on their recovery that I did nor do I feel that it would be necessary in many instances, one might want to consider working with the energies of and in the body. Feelings are energy. This is just the way that I started to learn to feel because I wanted to feel God. Because I didn't have anyone to share love with I went looking for Him and I guess this is how I needed to learn. It doesn't mean that you have to do this to recover. It is just what I did but there are other ways to learn to be comfortable with your feelings. I find it fascinating to see how the energies of feelings, the body, sound, color and everything else work together.
 

As a result of my efforts I feel that I have a pretty good grasp on my own energies and feelings. I'm still learning about things around me all the time. Still, I feel like a babe in the woods sometimes but I would very much like to share with you some of the things that I discovered along the way during my journey. I know that it can be frightening to delve into your feelings and your life but that is what I felt that I had to do in order to save my life and my spirit. I was desperate and this world was not offering me any solutions for getting better so I made my own program. I fumbled, stumbled and was tricked along the way but I also found love, truth, honesty and living during my journey, as well as a workable recovery program. I would give you the mistakes that I made as well as the successes. Otherwise, how would you have any idea of what was really out there or that you might need to exercise some caution in your explorations.

I also want you to know that I discovered that the only thing that I really needed was a relationship with God. I also needed love and support. Yes, the skills and other methods help me live better in this world, but all I really was looking for was love and support. Because I could not find it in this world I went looking for God. It's just that simple. I went the long way around because I had to for myself but in the end, it came down to love, emotional support, some new skills, a connection with my own spirit and a connection with my Creator/Father and Jesus. Those are what I needed the most in my life.
 

My goal is to help others get out of their emotional suffering and distress. By learning more about myself, about love and my feelings, I was able to start living instead of just surviving from day to day. I learned a lot from my pain and my feelings by going through them and into them instead of just pushing them away or removing the energies. I learned a great deal about others by going into my own feelings that I never would have learned otherwise because of my fear and distrust.

Perhaps some of the fun was that I had no guide or anyone telling me what to do. As a result I was able to learn a whole lot more about myself and what I needed to do in order to recover. I consider none of the time wasted and all of it lessons learned. I want to share because if anyone can learn anything from my journey and get out of the madness of depression or mental [spiritual] illness then that makes a difference. I found my life somewhere in all of this effort and while I do not expect or want anyone to do it the same way that I did, I hope that you find some hope and some answers in this effort of mine.

I did a lot of this myself as far as learning about nutrition, detoxification, cleansing the body, massage, natural supplements and such. I did go to a counselor from time to time when I was really having a lot of difficulty but for the most part, I couldn't afford to go on a regular basis. I also read a lot of books by experts, visited their web sites and read extensively on my own. As far as learning new communication skills, about boundaries, anger and trauma, I learned those skills and information in the outpatient program. That is why I advise consulting a qualified counselor for part of your program or helping you design your program. You can teach yourself a lot from the videos and websites, but I think getting some guidance for your particular situation might not be a bad idea. I know it can be expensive but a little help goes a long way, at least to get started. If you cannot afford a counselor, maybe talk to the leader of your church, temple, synagogue, mosque or other holy place. You can talk to a pastor or priest, a youth center advisor, a social worker, a school counselor, or find a community center, a half-way house or any kind of social program to start. 

One of the biggest difficulties in getting help seems to be a serious lack of low-cost, affordable programs or other solutions that would really help people get better. One-on-one counseling is expensive if done for long periods of time. An outpatient program is costly even with insurance and is limited in time and visits with insurance coverage. It takes time to learn new skills and these skills are not something that can be learned in 30 days. It took me about one year for everything I was learning to start to make sense all together and another six months to start to put in all into practice in my life. I'm not sure about any other programs at this time but I know that I couldn't afford to pay someone for the amount of time that I needed to get better. That is one of the reasons why I did so much of my own work myself as well as why I went looking for God. I knew that He knew what I needed to get better and I knew that I could find love there, or at least I hoped that I could find it. I found more love and support than I imagined was possible.
 

As far as other choices, there are many out there but they all require some effort. There are self-help books and a lot of good workbooks that you can do on your own and at your own pace. There are online courses but some charge a fee. Check around to see what you can find. Maybe you could get a class started in your neighborhood or your church once a week so that a group could learn at the same time. Maybe churches or other organizations such as group homes, community centers, women’s shelters, sober-living homes and veteran’s associations could start their own groups led by a counselor once a week or so. Maybe everyone could chip in to pay the counselor to help them through trauma in a supportive group setting. Maybe some could help get programs started with a counselor either in a school or after school or in some other kind of group setting. I think groups are important because social skills are a big part of the solution and a group offers support, sharing and relating, among other things. Even if people only spent a couple of hours a week learning new skills and other ways of getting in touch with their spirits, their lives could change for the better. These are just ideas.
 

Maybe some counselors, psychologists and psychiatrists could donate some of their time to help start community outreach programs where they live and work. It would be a very useful and beneficial way of donating time and effort to help get the ball rolling so to speak. So many people need help and if the time was spread out among many counselors and mental health professionals, social workers and the like, we could all make so much of a difference in the emotional and spiritual health of people in the world. If the work was spread out and lots of people helped for even a few hours a week, the difference that this would make in the lives of so many would be very great. There is so much need out there for help and so very few places for people to turn to for help or assistance. We are floundering and flopping around like fish on land. We need this help and this kind of water to drink so very much.

I did much of my own work by necessity because I could not afford to go to professionals every day or every week to help me with the emotional releases and the feeling part of it all. I was doing too much energy work and the emotional releases were happening with a lot of frequency because I had stuffed a lot of feelings inside of myself. That is another reason why I started talking to God. It was free, I needed Him or someone to listen to me and I wanted God to be more than mere words in my life. I wanted Him to be real and I thought if anyone could show me love and know what I needed then that would be the best place to start. While I feel that going to Him was the best thing that I could do for myself, I also knew that I had to live and function in this world at the same time. That is where all of the other methods came into play. Learning new skills especially helped because those helped me to express myself and I was less frustrated and less depressed as a result. I could protect myself better, speak up more often and be real. I am far from perfect in my skills but I work on them every day or as much as possible. There are still situations where I have great difficulty but it gets better with practice. As time passes I get stronger and I feel better.
 

For the psychiatrists and psychologists out there, I just feel that different ways of approaching the patient and their treatment needs could be considered in addition to what is already being used. Perhaps other methods of treatment could slowly be added into the current curriculum so that all aspects of the person are supported. Perhaps psychiatry could expand into other areas such as prevention by helping people to learn better skills when they are young, starting these programs in schools or other locations as well as exploring the science of the spirit and the energetic bodies. We are spirit and we are energy and our spirit/energy bodies are no less important than our physical bodies. Knowledge of the energy bodies is new territory in many ways as far as the medical profession is concerned and we could use some people with a knowledge of medicine and energy that are willing to go there and explore. Yes, this involves the spirit but the energy bodies as well so it fits in with medical treatment of the soul as far as I am concerned. All realms overlap but none are any less important than any others. Psychiatry is important but maybe it just needs to go in another direction instead of looking only to the physical aspect of the person. The spirit is no less important than the physical and even more important in my opinion. There is much to be learned but don't forget about God and the power of His love in your efforts. If you leave Him out of the relationship there will be Hell to pay, literally. We must be protected by His love from the beings in the lower vibrational dimensions or in this world that would harm us.
 

As I learn, I find that if I am more in harmony with the vibration of love and connected with God, then those lower vibrational dimensions, beings and energies are less and less able to affect or influence me. The higher vibrational dimensions or ones based upon love are not seemingly dangerous and I guess those would be where we truly live in our natural spiritual state. As Father and Jesus guide me and help me, the old lower vibrational energies are cleared out of my body and filled with love shared with God.  I feel safer, more whole and not affected by the lower energies or the lower vibrational dimensions, if any of this makes any sense to you. I learn more daily and thus these are only my experiences. Yours may be different but no less valid.
 

The more Father and Jesus love me and as I share love with them, the more my physical body and my spiritual/energetic bodies fill with love and the better, safer and more real I feel. I feel how the love shared protects me from outside energies, unlike before when I felt like my energy fields were full of "holes" where things could bother me. These "holes" in the energy field or aura are created by an unhealthy physical body, fear, anger, grief, trauma, drugs, alcohol, abuse, violence and for me, all of the emotional pain which was overwhelming me at the time I was so ill and which I have energetically been trying to hold back. That pain took a lot of energy to stuff down but once I felt safe enough and loved enough then I could let it all go. I had to call God for help though since the release was too large, like a dam breaking instead of releasing slowly. I'm okay though. Once this emotional pain was released, with help from Father and Jesus because it was way too big for me, I felt like my body could "breathe" fully and expand with the energy. I asked God for help and His love filled those spaces where the energy released. I was rewarded with new strength, closeness to God and more life. This is where I find myself feeling worthy of love and whole. Sweet is the best way that I can describe the feeling and what I have been looking for my whole life.

Do we not become one with those we love deeply? I cannot think of any being that any one of us would want to love more fully than our Creator aside from a partner in this world. I think God planned it to be that we do not feel whole without Him. That way, we would always be searching for something that we thought we were missing. Don't many feel so much that they are missing something in their lives today? I know I did. I have felt this oneness a few times in my life and that tells me that I am on to something special. Complete surrender to God's love seems to be at least one key as well as sharing our life with our Creator. The only way that you will ever find out for sure is if you go there yourself and this is not something anyone can do for you.
 

I don't know what else to say here for it is always an individual choice and one is free to make whichever choice they want to in life. One can serve themselves only or one can serve others and God. For those who want to be friends with God, I would offer to you that He is real and that we can make a connection with Him in a deep and fulfilling way if we choose to do so. Any one of us as a child of God can do this if we want to with some effort. You don't have to do everything the way that I did. Just go to Him and start talking and then learn to listen. That's all and it's that simple.

There are lots and lots of people who need help but either cannot afford it or will not seek help for one reason or another. Current forms of treatment are very costly, inconvenient for those who work and beyond the reach of the average individual or family. Maybe group programs could be developed that would address these issues and still provide an income for everyone, including the doctors and the pharmaceutical companies. Programs need to be low cost and affordable though as well as offered to our children in school for free. I think this will save us tons of money in the long run in better physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health habits. Many, many people need help and assistance but not necessarily medication for the rest of their lives. 

Life itself cries out for a higher and more honest way of living with ourselves and others. Where we go from here is up to all of us.